I have been sick most of my life. I'm 38 yrs. old now and spent two decades seriously ill. That means I've practically lived in and out of hospitals and emergency room from age 8 until I was 28. I've lost so much of myself during my whole brain tumor diagnosis and the aftermath of all my treatments that I have no idea who I am or what makes me happy.

I went from being a lover of gymnastics to a girl who couldn't walk properly. My balance never really got better. I think I've just…

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My brain tumor consumed my life from age 11 on until now, age 38. I finished all of my treatment by age 12 and I was trying to adjust to my new world, the limited world where I couldn't run anymore, the world where the monkey bars were difficult to maneuver, the world where I couldn't swim well and the world where I could no longer do a cartwheel or even a somersault. I also had difficulty in school. I'm not sure if I created the stress or I just couldn't understand. I'd gladly take my old…

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I have been on vacation this past week. Although wonderful, it is stirring up very sad feelings. I first went to Vermont and saw my cousin Sharon. Sharon was amazing to me when I had my surgery and radiation in 1987, when I was 11 yrs. old. She came to visit me in the hospital all the time, made me cookies, made my face up, etc. Sharon and I grew apart as she aged. Now she is married with two children. And I'm happy that she is loving life.



I also saw my childhood best friend in…

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I had such a zest for life when I was little. Probably most children do. I loved monkey bars, running, gymnastics, etc. I was always on the move.Spring and summer were the best. My hands melted in the dirt as I practiced backbends and handsprings in the spring. In the summers my mom and I would go to our apartment pool. I would get these amazing tans and swim and swim some more until I swallowed a pool of water. I never thought about how to use my hands and arms as I practiced gymnastics and…

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Before I started It's Just Benign I felt my adult life was mediocre. It seemed like I was cured by the age of 31. I had finished two craniotomies and six weeks of radiation treatment in 1987, at age 11. I really knew that I should have a much better job, friends, etc. But finding all of that was difficult. I had watched the success of my cousins and peers. It is very difficult watching your peers drive up in their fancy cars, wearing the best clothes, etc. and never acknowledging either how…

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When I was little I dreamed of being a gymnast, just like Olympic Gymnast Nadia Comenici. I practiced no handed cartwheels, handsprings, and more by fifth grade. That was probably my biggest dream. However, I was also very aware that a good education was extremely important to my future. It could open many doors and most likely would lead to financial freedom, nice vacations, many "things", etc. My parents have an Ivy League educations and Ph.Ds and somehow I was aware of this at an early…

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My second training session was last Tuesday. So far, so good. I've been so busy recently that it's been difficult getting to the gym. I just need to make it a priority.  Jason seems very nice. I'm noticing that my three important business relationships with men, my trainer, webmaster, and life-coach, are making me think that the male gender isn't so bad. I haven't met enough good guys. 

Anyway, of course, I needed to tell my trainer all of my weaknesses, etc. So the 1st week I told…

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I'm looking for bloggers to add a new facet to IJB. I will be writing a blog, too. So I'd need you to blog at least 2 times per week. I need you to write about anything related or stemming from a brain tumor diagnosis. Please make sure feelings are genuine. Here's what I'm looking for:

 

1. Survivor-write about stuggles or good things that all relate to your tumor's effects, treatments, or aftermath. Don't write about boy troubles, but write about a boy…

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 I feel so grateful that my worst days are behind me. I should feel grateful that my surgery and radiation treatments are done, that I've managed with my left sided-weakness, deaf left ear and bad balance, and I survived trigeminal neuralgia pain without proper treatment for 12 years.  Depending on my mood of the day I can feel relieved, thrilled, and sometimes grateful that I can finally focus on living. I never could truly focus on my future. You can't when you're in agonizing pain.…

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I was just a frilly girl who loved gymnastics and dancing. I knew that my mom was successful in part, because of her education, I planned on getting an Ivy League education, like both of my parents. I practiced gymastics and studied. I was proud of my high grades. That was how it was, in my eleven year old mind.



Even today, as a 36 yr. old woman, I haven't been able to fully absorb how my life changed because of my brain tumor diagnosis.My parents found out and two weeks later the… Continue