Well I guess it's safe to assume that we all have problems with headaches considering our situations. I take amitriptyline for them. It's been working pretty well since I started about 10 months ago. I've had to increase it a few times but my oncologist says that's normal. Lately I've been getting more headaches. I'm not too worried that it means anything has gotten worse, though the headaches have started to change a little bit this summer. By change I mean the way they feel. They used to just be more of a general pain all over. Now they are more of a pressure and kind of like where a headband would be; from temple to temple as well as a pressure in the back of my head. Almost like my brain is being pushed out of the back of my skull. There are also more "migraine" sensations with them - noises and light hurts. Also head movement makes the pain worse. It's not too high on the pain scale - I wouldn't describe it as the worst headache ever - but they are a nuisance. 

I think one problem though is that because the headaches are coming more often, I often worry from the moment I wake up that I am going to get a headache that day. They get in the way of me being productive at work. I get tired and weak. And I just don't want it to happen. Sometimes I feel like I almost worry myself into having a headache. Does anyone ever feel like that? Though I don't know if worry is the right word. It's more of like a constant wondering. I do have a prescription for Vicodin, though it needs to be authorized to be refilled. I only have a few left, so I am going to need to get some more soon. But because I'm not living where the prescription was originally filled, I need to be the one to call my oncologist to get them to send the authorization to the pharmacy. I've had this prescription for awhile, so it's not like I'm using it up quickly; I actually try to avoid taking it whenever possible. I just really don't want to call my doctor. Is that weird? I don't feel like telling them things have gotten a little bit worse.

My oncologist has a tendency to "play it safe" and usually orders and MRI if new symptoms come up. Since December, I haven't gone more than 2 months without an MRI. Whenever I have to get an MRI, I always go into a little depression; there's just too much anxiety involved. When my mom mentioned this to my oncologist when I had to get an MRI in June because of seizures, he told her that I need to realize that my tumor is very slow growing. I know that, but I'm having a hard time believing it when he keeps ordering MRIs to make sure it hasn't grown! So I really just don't know what to do.

Sorry, I just really need to vent and some reassurance that I'm not insane for feeling this way. Also, does anyone ever feel for a little bit after taking Vicodin for headaches, you actually get more awake? It's almost like my brain is like "finally no pain! I can go back to functioning normally!" But then eventually I get sleepy. I feel that way with Ativan, too. When I take it for anxiety, it makes me sleepy and relaxed. But when I take it for seizures, I usually am more alert after they stop.

Stupid brain tumors!!!