I know that I am blessed...I almost lost my life and yet, three years later, here I am. Walking, working, rebuilding. I am grateful each day. I am also learning how to deal with the emotional "aftermath".... The area in which physical therapy, vestibular therapy and medical doctors fall a little short. How do I find me again? The new me. The one that lost herself that day in the ER. My parents have been incredible. Some friends have been amazing, but I lost many. Those who could not fathom the surgery, the illnesses, the complications...the duration of the journey. I have been in survival mode for so long, that I am just now beginning to understand what I have lost. Friends, physical abilities,the freedom of not planning ahead! Energy-I think I miss that the most! My friends were planning weddings and picking dresses. They are married and thinking about children. I feel stuck some days. Trapped in the world of nausea, pain, loss and still in 2008. So, I am seking input, guidance from those who I know will understand. If accepting what we have lost is the fist step to the "new normal", how do you do that? How do you finally let go of "what was" in order to get to the "what will be?" Again, I know I am blessed. I know that I have learned so much in this process. But I know that I seem to just be stuck in this spot. Maybe I'm just rambling at this point....An author (Don Piper) wrote, "Growth means we acknowledge the past, accept the present but look to the future...There must be an accepted end before there can be a new beginning. And there's usually an important gap between the two. It's the time when we try to make sense of what hit us, especially when we had no warning." Thoughts???